KILL ME TO HEAL OR SAVE ME TO HEAL – A CRY FOR JUSTICE

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Psalm 91

Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God
91 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”
3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

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HEY friends in Jesus

Below my heart shared in written Word. I adore you.

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KILL ME TO HEAL OR SAVE ME TO HEAL – A CRY FOR JUSTICE

How do you forgive someone that is in the process of ruining you?
To look in the eye and try to move on – knowing that they’re killing you?
To keep your head high – to smile to still fly – knowing a noose they’ve prepared for you?
Father I am asked to keep on being festive – despite seeing the doom I’m entering through

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LORD Jesus You did it – on the cross as you bled – your enemies were finishing you off
Yet in the middle of it all – in violence they stool tall – spat in your face and continued to scoff
You knew they would not let you down – repent and dress your wounds – they rather mocked
Though knowing your innocence – they aimed to finish want they started – kill the ROCK!

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Despite all the pain – the fear that did reign – Your heart was bold with love and forgiveness
You knew they’d still kill you – You knew they’d still blame you – You knew they’d remain heartless
Yet in all that pain – I would imagine despair – You held the most powerful stance of rest
With flesh off your back – your blood as it ran – You taught humanity a FORGIVENESS TEST!!

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Forgive them Father for they know not what they do!!!

Oh Christ such a love – with it please my heart woo
Called to take my cross and like You carry it too!!

Help me oh Jesus to be just like YOU!!

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I’m struggling to stay strong – my pain is so bold – Awaiting trial I am too young to die
Despite being innocent – I have presented my case – a doctor named Pilate held my file
He handed me over to a crowd that wants me dead – letting Barabas go – a man so vile
Now just like you I am about to be hung – I cannot stop crying as I walk this mile

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Father they expect me to stay happy and merry – while they want to rape my brain to escape
To escape their own sins – they all want me buried – despite having recorded them all on tape!!
Crucify her! Crucify Her – they all shamelessly drool for my blood as they commit daylight rape!
What’s a single life worth – she’s only ONE person – so a crowd is watching this brutal hate!!

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For two years I fought – I stood for a cause – and now today a gawking crowd roars
A people easily bought – disillusioned and lost – salivating at a casket of a woman that mourns
Still breathing – but I’m buried – to You they want me married – death early at my doorstep pours
Too young to die Father – why not kill them rather – how can you close for me all these doors??

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I have fought not for myself – but many like me – but these people continue to kill me LORD!!
They did it to You – Your cross on my back glued – this thing that they’re doing they can’t afford!!
No servant is greater than His Master-if they killed You for loving them-now those shoes I’ve worn
But patient like an eagle – LORD please help me wait – on heavenly wings I’ll say I’ve soared!!

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You said we ought feel blessed when persecuted – that great is our reward in heaven
That in the way they persecuted our fathers before us – they will whip our backs as led by Satan
They will revile us and insult us – call us vile things in your Name – make our hearts heavily laden
But You said it is to those that you will give rest – To those You have promised are never forsaken

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I need help oh LORD to carry my heavy heart to the end – I have no energy to push this further
They want me to submit to their demands – to agree I am crazy or have my skin made leather
Tossed on the streets with no blanket on my skin – that or sign my Faith away for better weather
But even foxes have dens-
Yet YOU son of man had NOWHERE to lay your head, but in pain you remained light as a feather!

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To recant my Faith and the cause I have fought – in exchange for a piece of bread and a roof
Just to eat and sleep – I am told Jesus that to Your Name I must become ALOOF!!
You who have kept me shielded this whole time – they expect me to forget my roots!!!
But I know whom I’ve believed – Not a hair on my head will perish – them You’ll rather uproot!!

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This is not even a nation that is hostile to gospel – at least not in statute – not in legislation
But the way I am being abused for my boldness in JESUS – it’s like I live in some communist nation
Have been to the police, have spoken to lawyers – everyone holds a demonic station
My knowledge of the law helps me not – living in flight like I am some kind of treasonous patient!

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What is the purpose of all this if even the law that’s supposed to protect me buries a criminal?
Where are your just servants God? – here I am dealing with fattened animals calling me delusional
That corrupted doctor – Can’t stop thinking about him – the man accused me of being irrational!
Didn’t ask me a single question – based purely on a woman’s words – I am made to feel so minimal

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I’m struggling to push time LORD – to see glory in these days! oh Jesus – please give me power!
We are being killed all day as Your precious church – give me wings to fly in this darkened hour!!
Never have I felt so trapped in my life – unable to move, to breathe – just waiting to be devoured!
Yet now is the crucial time for You did it – to forgive them as they lead me to a grave so sour!!

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How can a nation of people in pain watch a person who fought for the remedy of that very pain die?
I guess it’s what You endured – You preached and loved and fed their bellies – then were crucified!
The very same crowd that you healed and adored – roared at Your bloodshed and boldly lied!
Calling you a blasphemer – DESPITE being the King of Kings – forgiving them while folly multiplied!

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My LORD, My LORD why have You forsaken Me – I keep uttering Your very Words
I feel left by You – feeling a pain that breaks through the walls of my arteries like a million swords!
Going for the jugular – salt in my open wounds – despite being innocent – FINISH HER they roar!!
Persecuted and prosecuted – convicted of crimes I did not commit just like You I am floored!

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Like You oh Jesus – I am called a Blasphemer! They say my Christianity is fake
I am wearing a crown of thorns – they mock me USING YOUR NAME!!!! They say that God I hate
A bunch of pharisees oh LORD – people who love to attend services in Your Holy Place
NOW ALL THEM PUT A CROWN ON MY HEAD SAYING I MUST DIE IN YOUR HOLY NAME!!

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Everything You went through oh LORD – did You not say that this day will come?
That those who kill us will think they’re doing a service to God – in Your Name they’ll kill us for fun!
That they’ll throw us out of Your synagogues – and call us the liars – while spilling our blood!!
But as a martyr under the alter – I cry how long oh LORD – how Long will You let them run??

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The battle is the LORD’s I know – help me see like Elisha that there are more from your stem
Open my eyes so that I can have hope that they that are with me are more than with them
Let me see Father that I have support rather – that I am not alone, that I am still your gem
Tell me I have not fought this war in vain – show me that all along I’ve been hidden in your hem!!

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Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the LORD delivers them from them all
I am in a deep pain – afflicted – Let the truth of Your Word pierce through their violent gall!
Help me feel alive again – show me I am covered – help me Jesus again to stand tall!!
I need a place of escape – I can’t live behind this cape – Post Traumatic Stress enthrals my call!!

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I’m jittery – I am shaky – the opening of a door makes me hazy
My eyes are full of blood – no longer are there watery tears – I can’t handle this label of crazy!
I’m jumpy, always nervous – ever in fear – like something in someone will snap to make me
To make me do what I do not want – always in duress – cant speak lest my words should rape me!

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To even write this poetry is a risk my LORD – and only in the fear of You can I deliver this Word
You said not to fear man – but fear God and offend the devil with His mighty Sword!
I am being killed for this art I deliver – for Words I have sung, written and spoken broad
To so much as write in my blog oh LORD – is reason enough to get me in a mortuary stored!!

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Save me Jesus from these chains I am in – my chains are heavy – my trauma is scary
They destroyed my entire life – and are trying to say I did it to myself – under that heap I’m buried
Despite being as hard working as I am – they say my unemployment is because I am lazy
How long will you let these fools run amok oh LORD? I don’t even know what to do daily!!

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I can’t watch television – it makes me feel unproductive – stupid silly – uneducated
I can’t read more books because I can’t afford them – so my brain is getting wasted
These criminal fools look in awe at my pain – waiting for my death with breath so bated
And all I do – all the day long is use my big brain to fantasise about getting them gated!!

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What is the point oh LORD of Einstein thinking really hard about the theory of relativity?
When he does not share it with the world – so that his brain wont be a heresy?
I feel like a genius trapped by the simple – unable to move because I’ve lost the lottery
The lottery of this silly planet which is a nine to five keeping people alive – what a brazen travesty!

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Imagine oh LORD – just imagine oh LORD – dying at hands of a million mice
Tiny little things that have nothing on me – except salaries and their stupid lies
Alone I have destroyed them and the only thing standing in the way of my justice are their itchy lice
The lice of their lies, of their wiles – my financial demise – a lack of support – so they’re in paradise!

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Give me a way LORD – there’s got to be a way – I should not need money to fight this case
Some things don’t need lawyers – only an angry crowd – Like yeast in flower in hearts do raise!!
A people are dying – some are already frying – for the very same poison that’s on me laced
Let it end with me – this mad disease of disenfranchising innocent souls in corruptions wait!!

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I will continue to seek Your Face – to forgive in the middle of a people trying to finish me off
I also pray that while I forgive – I will never forget the importance of justice that must never rot
Thus in the middle of forgiveness – help me to keep in mind that your death was THE justice plot
The satisfaction of God’s wrath that was appeased over humanity in order to clear our sinful lot!

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Thus I will only accept martyrdom dear LORD if it will bring justice ultimately to many
If my death is the healer – then I will have done my service to humanity
Otherwise all of this will have been in vain – something You do not do – it would be a heresy
Thus Father if this kills me – heal others through my death-or keep me alive to bring calamity!!

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I adore you in the Name of Jesus

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Amen and Amen

Love Cranberry Kay

Xoxies

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