I FOUND A BOY – but. . .

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Psalm 17

Prayer with Confidence in Final Salvation
A Prayer of David.

17 Hear a just cause, O Lord,
Attend to my cry;
Give ear to my prayer which is not from deceitful lips.
2 Let my vindication come from Your presence;
Let Your eyes look on the things that are upright.
3 You have tested my heart;
You have visited me in the night;
You have tried me and have found nothing;
I have purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.
4 Concerning the works of men,
By the word of Your lips,
I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer.
5 Uphold my steps in Your paths,
That my footsteps may not slip.
6 I have called upon You, for You will hear me, O God;
Incline Your ear to me, and hear my speech.
7 Show Your marvelous lovingkindness by Your right hand,
O You who save those who trust in You
From those who rise up against them.
8 Keep me as the apple of Your eye;
Hide me under the shadow of Your wings,
9 From the wicked who oppress me,
From my deadly enemies who surround me.
10 They have closed up their fat hearts;
With their mouths they speak proudly.
11 They have now surrounded us in our steps;
They have set their eyes, crouching down to the earth,
12 As a lion is eager to tear his prey,
And like a young lion lurking in secret places.
13 Arise, O Lord,
Confront him, cast him down;
Deliver my life from the wicked with Your sword,
14 With Your hand from men, O Lord,
From men of the world who have their portion in this life,
And whose belly You fill with Your hidden treasure.
They are satisfied with children,
And leave the rest of their possession for their babes.
15 As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness;
I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

I FOUND A BOY – but. . .

So I am dealing with an animal that will not repent
I guess I should have seen it – in exposure he’s been bent
My frustrations are deep we get it – but deeper they are lent
To the fact that I fell in love – but he insisted that I cant

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My thing is LORD who does he think he is – to control even the man I marry?
Oh right – he does not want me to marry – but this where it all gets scary
The fact that he actually could control a man I fell for – it made me weary
It broke my heart – nah it tore me apart – made me think that I am a fairy

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Something from an adventure fantasy – has nothing to do with any reality
That a man would rise from the sea of humanity with a resolve that defies insanity
If I could resist a devil like Tshepiso – then surely a man built from you would also defy gravity?
Things that bring low – cause loss and destruction because we are built from materials heavenly

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So Father who here is the one deceived – me or did I meet another Tshepiso?
I cannot walk around believing this idiot is powerful – perhaps I was not ready to open love’s door
But I met someone I fell for Father – yes, I didn’t see a future – but he had me floored
I figured he was just a brother in You – but I fell in love because YOU he adored

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Then next thing I had this dirty little drunken man plastered all over my brother in Christ
Like a loose canon of a ghost in a house – he claims my body like a poltergeist
He thinks he reigns supreme – like the devil he is – he stole my brother like a broad daylight heist
But I can’t help but wonder dear LORD – did I meet a brother or was that another bite??

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Okay so I was not expecting to fall in love – but how can I not when a man speaks in You?
The man spat bullets of scripture – from his heart flowed your rivers – he seemed so groomed
Next thing I mention him briefly in my blog expressing appreciation for meeting a man schooled
And before I knew it – that witch on a broom Tshepiso had zapped him and choked him in fumes!!

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Yeah okay – so I didn’t plan on having a romantic relationship with him – I mean he was too young
But I loved him as a brother in Christ – next thing he changed on me and out of control spun
Treated me strangely like we did not just fellowship in the LORD – like something to have for fun
I dropped him like he was hot oh LORD – but I am upset that Tshepiso has won!!

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Or did that bugger win – did he win? Did that loser win or was my “brother” another stunt man?
I mean Tshepiso himself speaks Christianese – so was my “brother” another Jesus FAN?
Not a true disciple but a FAN-you know the kind that speaks about you,but from Your nature he ran?
I ask LORD because a true saint ought resist – he shouldn’t react to witchcraft like an overdone tan

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Burnt by it looking orange like he basked in the sun for ten hours with no sun screen
Brother was supposed to keep his eyes on what mattered – the gospel was rather to be seen!!
Instead he went pear shaped on me overnight after another headless chicken made him green
He went jealous – wouldn’t talk properly – even got rude and I was like: “Is Tshepiso a machine?”

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I think NOT – he cannot be that powerful – now I am sitting here stranded missing my friend
But I am not even sure Father if he was truly a friend – I just do not understand our end
I dumped him Father – okay we weren’t dating – but as a friend I dropped him in the sand
Now I am shown he misses me – but he’s still green and full of strange behaviour that wont bend!!

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Is that booger called Tshepiso so powerful that any and all people that come into my life
Will be mowed to the ground by his witchcraft machine and his demons all up in my grill be rife??
I can’t stand this nonsense LORD – I needed my brother – or at least I thought he was my knife!
My knife to cut out some of the pain in my life – having him around made me feel like a flying kite!

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Now he’s gone coz I kicked him to the curb after treating me strangely like someone he was not
The man I had met totally changed on me overnight – how can I live in this horror movie plot?
The ring – the grudge – the poltergeist – will he not get exorcised? He throws everything into his cauldron pot!
I do not care for his hocus pocus – goodness I can’t focus – On my perfect skin he’s an ugly SPOT!

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Make him go away – was my brother not meant to stay?Okay I fell in love – but I have self control!
I wanted someone to talk to in You – but a mere huff of a mention of him put a demon man on a roll!
Will he keep doing this to my people – Tshepiso must be stopped, he’s messing with my polls!
Every election to bring people into my life – he rigs the votes causing loneliness with what he stole!

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He is properly oh LORD like a poltergeist – moving cupboards in my life with no one touching them
My cups fly all over hitting the walls – my tables move and shake – breaking even my roses stems!
He completely overwhelms everything – but LORD -this booger should not affect any of your gems!
I knew the bug would try and mess with all I touch – but I trusted a true heir of Yours to rest

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I was not very concerned with his foul dealings on unsaved family members and other enemies
This because I was not so foolish as to imagine an unsaved person can fend off satanic fleas
But then I met someone who I believed to be in you – and to Tshepiso’s devils he bent his knees!
What then ought I believe? that my brother was not true – or that Tshepiso is an incurable disease?

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An incurable disease that even the Healer of all Nations cannot overwhelm?
What blasphemies do I utter – of course that can never be true in any realm!
Be it heavenly – or on earth – demons tremble at the Healer – at his feet they melt!!
Thus who is this fool that imagines himself one who can tremble disciples? I HAVE THE BELT!

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The belt of truth – I trust Your Word – the gates of Hades will not prevail against the church
Thus if a person is wiped away from his glory by the witchcraft of another -You He does not search!
Arrogance ought not keep a man from his destiny if he is truly saved – a brother will resist!
He will resist his jealousy – pride – lust – his past -EVERYTHING in order for God’s will to persist!

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Therefore if this brother of mine – who happens to hold my heart is of you – he will come
If not – he will not – but I have problems with the fact that I am frustrated by a bum
I can only believe one thing – and it is that he was not meant to scathe me – but I remain numb!
Numb as to why I even had to meet him – didn’t need more heartbreak, with it I was already plump!

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Perhaps my anger is unfounded – perhaps I was supposed to snuff out another false disciple
But LORD – I did not need that now. They experiment with me the occult – I’m their perfect sample
Everything my enemies have wanted stolen from me has been stolen – my entirety is crumbled!
The loss now of my friend has made my pain sharper – will the wicked ever be humbled?

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My friend is one among ALL things I have mentioned in my ministry I wont lose – yet I have
What is happening? When will I finally be free? When will I finally laugh at their demise served
I do not care for their downfall – only my deliverance, yet I walk in their rise while my life remains curved
My lost friend hurts more than he should because of everything else I have lost – I’m unnerved

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I can’t stand this – I can’t stand that this animal called Tshepiso has me in chains
How can this even be true – will You allow me to be to such a disgusting creep remains?
He is like a blasted corpse in my house – the stench of his bitterness fills my space
Yet you’re not clearing him out – nothing I do gets rid of him and in his folly he stays amazed!!

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I am ANGRY – yes I am. Angry that a wild ANIMAL spends his days and nights salivating over me!
You let him God. You let him run afoul with his nonsense in my life!! He drives full speed
I mean how does that creature continue to live when on people he’s never met he plants his seed!
Just a rampant demon waling around – how is he allowed to prosper???? I can’t even flee!!!!

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I have wanted not to believe that this animal has true power over me – but LOOK GOD!!
Everyone! I mean EVERYONE has been raped by him if they’re in my life and he will not STOP!!!
He can’t be that powerful-yet he has stripped my life! Why let your Name be tarnished by that blob!
I shouldn’t get killed by a stalker – yet it’s happening. When will that animal finally ROT??

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Last straw God. My friend was a final straw. It made me see that he will tamper with my entire LIFE!
If that loser does not die before I am married – He will live to bewitch my household unto strife!
While I understand that witches will always be in fashion- this one cuts with a different knife!
He is bitter that he lost me – so like a maggot infestation – his gnawing at my flesh will be rife!!!

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Father Tshepiso HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This loser must be BLOCKED!!!
HIS NAME MUST BE FORGOT!!
Or over my life he will ALWAYS PLOT!

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As for my friend – it’s fine I lost him – but I need hope to see oh LORD that I will not keep on losing
My jobs, my homes, my education, he almost took my family – he will always be a bruising!!
Never have I met such a demonic person – Never did I think I’d meet a man with death seething!
This level of abuse I have never seen – a depth of obsession with witchcraft leaves me unbelieving!

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I don’t know whether I am coming or going – not even the last blog I did made him walk
LORD his name – his photo – EVERYTHING IS OUT – yet he continues to STALK!!!
I cannot handle this – it has to stop – yet he is fully comprehending that he’ll stay on me like a hawk!
The rest of my life – or rather his since he’s dying – he is prepared over my every move to gawk!

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How can I carry on like this? I just can’t. No amount of ANYTHING works – seedy and seething
Like a puppet on a string I seem – dancing to a demon of lust in a man unfeeling!!
My blogs give him erections – my speech, my dancing, my rhyming in you sends him spinning
Unable to see NOTHING but sex in me – it’s like he visits a brothel in the gospel I’m bringing!!

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Make him STOP! Father make him STOP! Make him STOP! Rather HIM please block!
After the last blog I did – compassion flooded my veins, I wanted to spare him the flog
I wanted to remove his picture – perhaps even the whole blog – but the fool remains hard as a rock!
I then remembered that in the absence of such heavy exposure – I will remain in solitary SHOCK!!

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Shocked ALONE that a man so handsome – so externally charming is as wicked as he is
Alarmed that a person so sane in appearance – can have all sanity checks devastatingly missed!
Perplexed that a human being with a mind and heart can like a snake fatally poison and then hiss!
But all this means nothing – apparently when disease arms your body – you don’t even respond to a diss!

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I get that I lost my friend – or like I said – not sure if he was truly one – but he is besides the point
The loss of him has caused me to grieve over a parasite that is ever high on a marijuana joint!
He latches onto me sucking all the life blood out of my core – the flames of hell his head anoint
Despite his fears of eternal damnation – he continues in his bitterness so he can have me coined!

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So yeah I am angry – mostly this time because I fell in love for the first time in two years since him!
For the first time in that long – I met a brother – a man who utters my LORD – but he was trimmed!
He was spun on Tshepiso’s witchcraft like a bottle top on a ghetto boardgame – he brimmed!
Brimmed at the folds with the same nonsense that moved Tshepiso – pride, arrogance, jealousy – misogynistic sins!!

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I am strong YES. I am beautiful YES. I am also RIDICULOUSLY TALENTED YES!
In the head of a sane man that’s a FULL PACKAGE – but to an insecure misogynist – it’s a curse!
For a woman to be broad is sadly to black men the worst assault to their manhood ever!
A fight I have been trying to win – but sadly for me I met another brother who hated my clever!

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Yeah – he’s a kid I get it – but his reception of me is no different to that of brothers who are older
It’s like this silly gangrene in the black community that’s getting bolder and each day it scolds us
The best black women are the worst treated by black men while the witchy ones are getting hotter
So just like Tshepiso – I have another brother passing me shade while respecting a hawker!

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Yes – a hawker! You know – mkhozi – selling ma kip kip and bubblegum on the side of the street
It’s what black men respect – silly women who have converted their bodies into cheap meat
So they buy what they sell – and since the chicks love witchcraft – they keep these silly men neat
Neat using korobela because a hawker girlfriend turned wife MUST rely on that stuff to keep her seat!

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So I have another Tshepiso wannabe breaking the living daylights out my poor heart!
I am thus wondering if there is hope at all in the black community if they’re like that from the start!
My former friend is young – so if life did not slap Tshepiso and make him like that – then what??
What creates this seemingly perpetuated issue in our men ?? Generational curses play a part!

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Been trying to preach a message that reaches the black man – but the fact that I speak is a bomb!
Exploding in their ears as something destructive – yeah a strong black woman is ALWAYS wrong!
Well according to the misogyny that lies dormant in new born male babies – with age it gets strong!
This a FACT not a diss – a generational curse, not a hiss from a snake with a tongue too long!

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Yes because any wisdom – love, courage and care from a black woman is fruitlessly perceived
Never with God fearing awe – but with appreciation pawned – with hostility she’s rather received
All this because a black man falling short – refuses to grow bigger and so he downsizes his Queen
At least he tries since most black women never come down from their thrones – they’re always seen!

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But in being seen – they always run kingdoms like Queen Bees – NO KING AROUND
If she does not hold it down – everyone dies and the kingdom drowns
Not because she absolutely ADORES being butch – but because kings refuse to be crowned!!
This because they’re stubborn to accept that a woman can help their names become renowned!

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Arrogance does that! That arrogance also has stubborn roots – with it they fry their women
Slavery and emancipation cut off the hands of black men – protection over their queens was stolen
The way the black women survived that – was to be strong themselves to keep the family woven
They therefore became butch in the absence of men-this leaving the black man emotionally broken

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Many years down the line – they’re still undermined – treated the worst of all races
In the office they’re shot down – intelligence ignored – input destroyed – so in the house he paces
With the whole world bullying him – he then looks to punch someone – so with her pain he erases
The fact that he feels small and hand tied to change that – thus to his black queen he has changing faces

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A potent problem smashing the black community and now today I have lost many kings for it
A king in my father, bothers – then lovers – and it turns out that even in the church it hovers – a pit
A pit dug deep – built to fail by systems long buried – but their effects continue to ferment what’s lit
The glory of a black woman is not seen because of it’s roots – because of what it is that made us fit!

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Slavery made us fit, it gave us big hearts, it made us long-suffering, it made us independent
It however made black men weak because it took their ability to carve futures for their dependants
The mix therefore of a slave woman and man is the manning up of women and effeminizing of men
Something they had no control over – and years of social conditioning created lions in a den

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With women being stronger – the hunters, the runners – the fighters – and men sitting back
The den being the social constructs in which black people live – hunger games arena for the black
Unusually butch women who are apparently ugly – and men who have been enabled to only buy shacks
So they get married without love – only as commerce to push an already rough existence where no one cracks

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No one cracks because everyone is merely surviving – so a war in the home is always inevitable
Children then grow up under cold parents – creating a cycle that slavery has made containable
Pushing nine to fives just to stay alive – unloved black men and women in a war detestable
Always ready to hurt each other – sell each other – kill each other with no stop – it’s regrettable

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So like Adele – I found a boy who I love more – more than another black boy I loved before
Thus while I stand beside the river he cries – I put his crown down in realising my boy too is stored
Stored in a container like a resident evil. Drained is the blood of black drones for the criminally bored
Who use us like batteries running their machines – emotionless, yet commercially broad

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So how’s a man groomed to be a battery going to love Karabo?

HOW???

HOW???

HOW???

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With muscular dystrophy how will he move his leg?
A woman who woke up in a cryopreservation egg?
Only to be devastated by the facts she sees that her man is still in a chamber spared??
Spared for a day when he will be awoken just to kill her who is his love. She – who has him fed

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BLACK PEOPLE WAKE UP!! Black men you keep killing your queens
You’re like Peeta in the Hunger Games – conditioned by the Capital to spread disease!
Look at Tshepiso – look at my friend – ready to kill a woman who loved them – her skin they peel!!
Makes no sense that a man would destroy a woman he loves passionately – it’s a black disease.

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Thus while I mourn another lost brother – I sit back on my bed as I write this poetry and hope
Hope that God will change the state of the black family – permanently alter our gradient – our slope
But as with any healing process through history – a war tends to precede change – for now we cope
This is spiritual – historical, generational – unless we pray and fight – our garments they will grope!

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Tshepiso is a nuisance – and its apparent that so too is my dear friend-theirs is a black man’s trend
You’ll ever be without queens while drones resist your authority purely because you won’t bend
Stubborn to reflect on the powerful love of your black women since you call anger our friend
Bitter too is the black woman because she is not cherished – unless you receive, this will never end

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It’s written in God’s Word that husband’s prayers are hindered if they do not heed their wives
That women ought respect their husbands too – be a helper suitable for their lives
It’s impossible to achieve this when we’re not allowed to voice our help – being slapped with pies
Followed by the defilements of our persons when our natural strength blinds your eyes

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Yeah – I couldn’t have done much with the man I met – I fell in love with him coz he spoke like me
The Words of Christ on the tip of his tongue – couldn’t help but adore that seed
Yet the heart I lost to him was wasted because while he knew the Word – he saw no need
To let it feed his body – pump his muscles – he rather hated that I too spoke like he

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My twin – exactly my twin. Everything I am he is – yet hates me for it – hates me for being him
Praying endlessly for a woman as passionate as he – then meeting her creates a sin
Instead of running with his powerful feelings – he kills me for assaulting him from within
Strong love for a black woman by a black man is received as assault for he ever resists being king

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Of course that does not make sense – but oh how naturally black men walk in that way
Rather than give her – her rightful place as queen – he disrespects her and spoils her day
He fights his feelings by fighting her – by hurting her – almost like she has caused him decay
That is how much social conditioning has caused the avoidance of true love in a black cave

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I say cave for we have been made like animals – we don’t make love – we procreate
We do not get married – we procrastinate
According to survival – not love – do we choose our mates
And so a man like Tshepiso choses a harlot to cherish – and his queen to brutally hate

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His queen became unfit in these hunger games – I was unstable, skinny and much too poor
So he married a fatter woman he did not love to stay in the games longer – and closed my door
Now today he wants me as a side piece using witchcraft as a weapon to make me a whore
A mistress is a black woman made that has the heart of a black man-while a stranger is given more

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The cycle is repeated – over and over again! I am frustrated and extremely angry
Ever being a man’s regretted almost – and therefore a post traumatic sought after panty!!
After slipping a ring on the wrong finger – a black man always makes his queen a piece of candy
A side – something to ride – when she was the original rider die – expecting her with that status to be dandy!

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Always the one who got away – but never the one who finally saw her wedding day
That is the life of a beautiful good woman in the black community – marriage is on her never lain
Yes sometimes because of witchcraft – but mostly because of black man’s misogynistic strain
A misogyny visited to them by all the jazz I noted above – when will be the end of this disdain?

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Tshepiso smashes me – he is an unruly mess
He however is not the only black man under duress
The problem is general and I wont caress
The mess of those under duress – knowing that my LORD said I should not stress

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I am now stranded with feelings for another black man who I trust I will forget
My gripe however is how many of these misogynists will I have to forget?
We get I heal like Wolverine – but this nonsense must end – I am weary of creating men with regret
Let’s not forget that alongside their regret – is my broken heart each time their ways have crept!

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I have looked to the heavens – to my God to help me. To show me that it gets better
To show me that not all black men are undercover misogynists – that they’re not all scattered
Not sure how a person stays in a relationship with someone they don’t love – let alone marry them
Yet black people do it all the time – I don’ want to be them – but my flower pops from that stem

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I do not care how many people love their sorcery – I just feel like black people CHOOSE that!
Korobela cannot buy love – and neither can it make a person thin or fat
Therefore to say some witch fed you poison so you married her?? That’s NOT a fact
A person can TELL when they’re not in love – lifetime nuptial decisions should stem from that!

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So really what I am dealing with here – no not just me – WE – black women – is JEALOUSY!
JEALOUS black men who hate our talent – despite having their own – it’s nasty
What? You want a woman you can’t even get goosebumps with – just so you can feel handy?
What is the point black MEN of wanting a wobbly little lame dame – when she BORES you silly???

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You want to have your cake and eat it too – well – sorry, the cake you want did not raise
It has no personality – no core – no God, just a vagina and every so often gets blazed
Blazed with you on that weed you love to smoke because even such issues she cares not to raise
Except her squeaky little mopy voice that’s always murmuring – yeah THAT IS YOUR BABE!!

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Black men and the silly little women you love to pay lobola for – LEAVE US ALONE after
Let us be with our big educated mouths – opinions, chunky hearts and muscles rather
Yes – because it turns out the flutes you chose are easier on your ego’s but build you? Oh brother!
Then again, you DON’t want to be built because even if you end up with queens – they become your mothers!

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You never become kings – never allow yourselves to be groomed – neither acknowledge a problem
Instead you act chunky when you’re little inside – that optical illusion eventually crushes a gem
A wonderful woman seeing your potential – and then you pretend you don’t need them!
After she’s ditched you – you get all disheveled – looking like a dry corpse with a shiny perm!!

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Yeah – these silly hairstyles of yours that you also have – a tuft of hair on your head like a curly crown!
An ice cream cone is your head – with just a pin drop of hair like an exclamation mark that’s upside down!!
What in the world – why does a man even need that much hair? A woman is your one and ONLY crown!
Not an almost bush that’s the tip of the iceberg that crashed the titanic brain behind your frown!

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Yeah – coz you never smile too – walking around like your lip was busted – but that’s just your look
Kindness is illegal – black men, you’re mean – with arrogance thick like a med school textbook!
Being greeted catches you off guard – to respond you have to remove the duct tape holding your look!
Not sure who taught you that – but being cold to a woman is not evidence to her that you’re good

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Yeah saying it for a third time! Because that’s how black men treat women they have feelings for
Reverse psychology – act like an animal and win a human being? Nah – at most you’ll see the door!
Don’t respond to her texts so she’ll want you more? With that rather you destroy her core!
Then one day when she dumps you for hurting her – you raid her like a bad rash – ego on the floor!!

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Look at this booger called Tshepiso Mohapi – for two years I loved him, took his rubbish
Then as soon I tossed him – let the prospect go – the booger all of a sudden wants to pitch!
What nonsense is that? I am not interested – but black man, that’s where you’re rich
You love to pitch when you’ve been ditched – when you’re no longer loved – when she has quit??

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WOW – ke grand. Really – ke grand. Being in a relationship with a man like that would be hell
Loving you deeply – but treating you cheaply – loves you madly, but will not tell?
So what – if I feel for a day of being loved – I have to dump the booger so his ice can melt?
Nah it’s okay – I’d rather be alone, than constantly hurting because some fool has love misspelt

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But you see that is just the way it is in the black love life
It’s not love life – it is rather brutal strife
There is no difference between sister and wife
Can’t tell who is who unless the brother is Ike!

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Yes – Ike Turner – Like Tshepiso Mohapi – there you can tell whose wife or sister
One is battered and the other is not bothered because holding an iron fist is the husband mister
No intervention on abuse – no one cares for her wounds – since everyone is already bitter
So everyone does exactly what they want in a black household – even hiding murder

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That is why I for two years straight – have lamented against various abuses and been ignored
It’s the perpetuated mistreatment of the black race that has been conditioned to be bored
At screaming babies, pregnant teenagers, beaten wives, raped nieces – it all gets stored
Back to normal – no one screams – Pavlov’s dogs – salivating with no meat, conditioned to ignore

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Like I said – stored in eggs – cryopreservation is the black race’s state
In a hunger games arena – exist to procreate more animals for the slaughter – ever at hell’s gate
No love encouraged, built nor appreciated – raised in conditions where we’re groomed to hate
I however know God-shown that a man like Tshepiso is groomed – but does not have to perpetuate

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So I found a boy who I love more – more than I ever did him before
Despite that sadly – he is still the same boy I loved before
Did witchcraft make him that way – or is witchcraft an excuse to remain a spiritual whore?
There is a trend in the black community that we can’t continue to ignore – generational in it’s core!

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So I take back my anger at my obsessive stalker – I realise that the problem is broader
Tshepiso is a population – a collective of black men who continue to take satanic orders
Like orders taken from a slave master to abandon his queen and mate rather in slave quarters
A field slave I was – while he was a house slave – so he was mated to a house daughter

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Despite loving my chocolate skin – because of it I was not worthy for I was in the field
To improve his chances of survival – he exchanged me for a yellow bone he did not feel
Now today I am an animal to be savaged – for my dark skin is only sexual and a piece of meat
Despite being virtuous and beautiful – a house slave has looked at a dark queen and seen defeat

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Thus since I lost the moment I was born – the beauty through my dark skin is now only food
Food to be eaten such that men like Tshepiso would grieve at the prospect of keeping me for good
Being a hot blooded male that finds me attractive – he figures my vagina can still be used
Colorism fostered by parent slavery has ensured dark women are not to be married – only fused

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Fused to male genitalia in immoral sexual activity that a husband dare not offend his wife with
Despite declaring my chastity on the rooftops – the conditioned man sees in my words a slit
An opening – room for discussion – for how dare a field daughter try to act legit
Because it’s bold for a dark woman to expect being cherished in a loving marriage to a man whose fit

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So I found a boy who I love more – more than I ever did another before
I stand beside the river I cried – and let my fears drown – he insists too on treating me like a whore
Can I stand indeed on anything dear LORD – when my struggles are rooted in slavery’s core?
Why would anything change because of me – why would my outcome be different from before?

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It will be different because your children were slaves for 400 years – generations had passed
But one day you raised Moses from among the Egyptians but his Hebrew lineage grasped
They underestimated him – treated him oddly – despite that YOUR mission to free them would last
Pharaoh was powerful – but his power was carnal – measly compared to your might so vast

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After a series of plagues – and a stubborn king blazed with shame upon his godless face
A son dead in his hands after miracles tossed the Egyptian cloak into the sea – He erased
His hopes of keeping your children as batteries used to fuel an abusive pagan nation unfazed
Unfazed by the tyranny over a mourning people who cried after being barren for years in pain

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Then one day in glory with their silver and gold – they let your people go so slavery won’t grow
Led them through the wilderness – for forty years they rebelled but their children saw the flow
The flow of the land that was rich with milk and honey – Israel today can no one mow
Mow to ground for they are your crown – Your glory oh LORD will always wear a bow

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They will know – they who persecute your church – who abuse your daughters enslaving us
That you are God – and that even in the face of seemly defeat – You’ll leave them with dust
Stubborn to repent are all my various enemies – a man, a people, a family, a pharaoh – their lust
It’s deep for the destruction of an innocent woman sent to free them from their broken past

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But the plagues that hit them will one day be too many and with dead loved things in their hands
They will finally release your people that they latched onto as part of their enslavement plans
Shown as with a flood, fire and brimstone from heaven – that against YOU NO ONE STANDS!!
Thus while my frustrations are many – as they were with moses – I will trust your hand to LAND!

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I have been hurt many times oh LORD – the past two years have been impossible
In it all however – YOU have kept me pure, sane and sutured – despite how much I stumbled
I stumbled again Father with another boy – he also hurt me in the very same way I crumbled
I will however trust you to change the heart generationally pained that refuses to be humbled

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I do not know what to believe anymore – confusion reigns in my members when I think of my friend
I wonder how someone so powerful with Your Word flowing from his belly can be fake
You said in Your Word that the devil masquerades as an angel of light – I almost did faint
But if my brother is truly a brother – LORD heal him and help him resist before it’s too late

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As for Tshepiso – two years of prayer has yielded no fruit – only created a bitter brut
I suppose long-suffering is what I ought to walk in – but LORD I cannot continue in this suit
Wearing anything at all concerning this man – I want nothing to do with him and his bitter mood
I feel chained to the pain of his regret and I can’t carry it anymore – please get him removed

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And below – the song I sang with Adele 🙂

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I FOUND A BOY – or not. . .

In the Name of Jesus

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Amen and Amen

Love Cranberry Kay

Xoxies

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